I saw something…so I’m saying something…

Textbook, stuff again, you see. The criminals’ vanity always makes them make one tiny, but fatal, mistake. Theirs was to have their entire conspiracy printed and published in plain manuscript. —Blackadder, "Sense and Senility"

Dear ASIO,

In the interest of saying something if I see something, I would like to report that I have seen something.

Something really vile and disturbing.

In the Herald Sun.

I have seen writing published that was disparaging of the Australian government, critical of our democracy, and blatantly advocating for Australia to become a dictatorship.

I fear the author of this hateful un-Australian propaganda, who apparently has ties to the finance industry and the media, may be scheming a way to gain ever more power — possibly even using his influence to effect a change of political leadership, or even a change of government.

If there is anything I’ve learnt from action movies, it is that the bad guy’s ego always compels him to divulge details of whatever cunning plan he has devised.

To paraphrase Blackadder: The criminals’ vanity always makes him make one tiny, but fatal, mistake — his was to have his entire conspiracy printed and published in a Herald Sun opinion piece.

It should be clear by now that this ideological extremist was planning to secretly overthrow the government, but couldn’t help inadvertently publishing his entire plan on a tabloid news website.

I trust this promulgator of anti-democracy propaganda will be detained and tortured immediately for such treasonous writing. Not to mention poor grasp of 20th century history.

I believe the individual in question can be found at the 3AW studios from 3pm-6pm, Monday-Friday, where he tries to indoctrinate the public with his misguided ideology — when not interviewing random people who claim to be rapper 360.

I trust this information will be of use in stopping his devious dictatorial agenda.

You’re welcome ASIO.

P.S. Stay away from my metadata.